U.S.—Progressives and conservatives alike were concerned after it was revealed that there is an evil, giant corporation that is literally murdering, imprisoning, and oppressing millions of people all around the world.
The corporation is run by corrupt people, accountable to no one, makes trillions of dollars every year, and continues to enrich its wealthy elite shareholders by exploiting the poor and the middle class. Even worse, it was discovered that this corporation has a monopoly. Everyone agreed that it’s well past time to keep this evil corporation accountable and that it should be broken up to prevent future oppression by these evil capitalists.
UPDATE: Oops, never mind. Got our wires crossed. The corporation is actually just the United States government. Carry on, and don’t worry about the fact that the government has a monopoly on violence and continues to rob from you and your grandchildren every day with taxes, inflation, unchecked spending, and unsustainable borrowing. At least it’s not a corporation!
Originally published by The Babylon Bee. Republished with permission.